Anonymous Short funny Quotes

Yay, Monday!... Said no one… Ever

-

Did you just fall? No, I was checking if gravity still works.

-

Your secrets are safe with me, I wasn't even listening.

-

I'm not anti-social. I'm just not user friendly.

-

Introverts - Unite separately in your own homes

-

I wish life was as simple as Calculus

-

Is 'Fuck You' an emotion? Because I feel it all the time.

-

I don't have a problem with anger. I have a problem with idiots.

-

I wish more people were fluent in silence

-

Of course, I talk to myself... Sometimes I need expert advice

-

How many selfies does it take to get to the center of attention?

-

Follows Diet. Diet doesn’t Follow back. Unfollows diet

-

I’m not insulting you. I’m describing you.

-

Just keep talking, I yawn when I’m interested.

-

Jealousy is a disease. Get well soon

-

I’ll try being nicer, if you try being smarter.

-

You sound better with your mouth closed.

-

Silence is golden, duct tape is silver.

-

Zombies eat brains. You’re safe.

-

For me, math class is like watching a foreign movie without subtitles

-

When nothing is going right, go left.

-

4 out 3 people struggle with math

-